How to make Instant Oreo Cream Pie box mix in West Africa

How to make Instant Oreo Cream Pie box mix in West Africa

Step 1: Scour all westernized groceries stores for anything premade.

Step 2: Discover Instant Oreo Cream Pie box kit and become exuberantly happy.

Step 3: Bring kit home, realize it requires milk and refrigeration and you do not have either milk or a refrigerator

Step 4: Put Instant Oreo Cream Pie box kit inside of Ziploc bag, place zip locked kit inside of plastic container with other mixes, put container inside of cupboard and let sit 4 months.

Step 5: Clean cupboard, find box kit and get excited because you’ve recently acquired a refrigerator and have milk inside it.

Step 6: Melt butter over gas stove because the refrigerator part of your frig doesn’t really work, only the freezer part so butter is hard (also there is no such thing as a microwave in West Africa).

Step 7: Combine provided Oreo Crumb crust with butter and mash into bottom of container

Step 8: Pour last of milk into bowl.

Step 9: Pour instant pie mix on top of milk along with two table spoons of dried ants you didn’t realize breached your food security system.

Step 10: Muffle your anger outburst so the guard doesn’t hear you and ask what it wrong.

Step 11: Strain milk, ants and instant pie mix through colander and paper towel (because the mesh is too large on the colander to catch the ants).

Step 12: Realize you have acquired some pretty sturdy paper towels and the milk isn’t leaking through.

Step 13: Milk paper towel like a cow utter until the milk streams through.

Step 14: Ignore any extra flecks of black floating around in your milk

Step 15: Add cold water and scoop of powder milk to make up for milk lost to the draining of the dead ant swimming pool.

Step 16: Congratulate yourself for purchasing two Oreo Cream Pie Instant box kits and steal the instant pie mix from the second box.

Step 17: Examine pie powder before you pour it into the milk (mama didn’t raise no dummy).

Step 18: Whip pie mix into fluffy yumminess and add provided Oreo bits to cover any remaining remnants.

Step 19: Press pie fluff over pie Crust and add more Oreo bits to the top (why not? You now have double the Oreo bits because you have already broken into the second pie box).  

Step 20: Chill in freezer and enjoy.
Step 21: Regret ever making fun of your teammate when you cringed at her for using your fork and she exclaimed “I’ve eaten a dead cockroach!”